Sophie's Tripawd Journey

It’s been just shy of 3 months since my last blog. I have been meaning to update everyone on how Sophie’s been doing but between the holidays, vet visits, and just doing other things there never seemed to be time – or I didn’t make it.

During that time Sophie was doing pretty well. She had a pretty severe reaction to the first chemo – her WBC was waaay too low – but they reduced the dose and she did well afterwards. She was not able to go on as long of walks and her endurance didn’t seem to be getting better but neither was it getting worse. She wanted to play all the time and was pretty much her old self. We got through all three doses of carboplatin and even started COQ-10 in preparation for beginning doxorubicin. No obvious side affects and she seemed to be doing well.

And then we went in for her fourth chemo, and her first doxorubicin.

Every time my vet hospital starts a new cancer treatement they do a full CBC and chest x-rays. Sophie’s CBC came back normal, but her chest x-rays came back not so normal. They found two sizeable nodules and several smaller ones. Her estimated median survival time dropped from next November to April. Ouch.

This is what I had been dreading. It seems to me that the carbo didn’t really work at all, an outcome I was afraid of after they had to reduce her dose. So what were my options?

Do nothing – absolutely not. I’m not ready to give up on something working, even if the traditional route didn’t.

Continue with the doxo and hope it worked – since the carbo didn’t work, it didn’t seem to be the ideal path to me.

Try metronomic chemo (low dose, given frequently, slows the growth of blood vessels that feed tumors) – because it’s the new hotness and has promising results (and because traditional chemo wasn’t working), it’s the way I decided to go. Her pills are in the mail – they’re coming from Arizona, and the treatment is much less expensive than traditional chemo.

Other options included pamidronate (a bone sparing med) and Palladia (prevents the formation of new blood vessels in tumors, theoretically starving them). We’re trying them too.

I am struggling with this news – it’s hard for me not to think about what my life will be like without her. I have lived alone with Sophie for the better part of 8 years and she’s what my life centers around. I have picked apartments with her needs in mind. I plan my schedule around being home to let her out – in fact, I have virtually no social life during the week because of it. I’m not complaining, it just is. I don’t mind. When I bought her out of that rubbermaid bin 9 years ago I knew that she was my responsibility and have acted accordingly. I don’t always get home from work when I want to and I sometimes think she doesn’t get enough attention or exercise. But she’s the center of my life. She gets me out walking (it used to be running) and hiking. She makes me interact with others. She calms me down, which is something I often need. She is my rock and my best friend.

If she gets sick or her quality of life in any other way declines, then I think I’ll just have to face it. She’ll go to doggy heaven and be happy and wait patiently for me to arrive so we can play. But what am I going to do without her?

It’s amazing what a week can do. In the past week, Sophie has made leaps and bounds – literally. She is out walking with me for 5-10 minutes twice a day. Her amputation site looks clean and is healing well. Super yay!

After I brought Sophie home I was able to spend three days with here – two days on a weekend and one day working from home. As the medications worked / she got further from the surgery she improved quite a bit, but was still lethargic. On the third day my neighbor stopped by and delivered a step stool he made for her. It’s in this picture, on the day he dropped it off:

I call it the Taj-Ma-Stool. It had non-skid bottoms on the legs, is covered in carpet, and is heavy enough that I can stand on it. It’s very nice. The first time I tried to get her to use it, though, (six days post-surgery) she ignored it and jumped right up on the bed! It was pretty cool. As you can see in the picture, the bruising was going down pretty well.

A few days later, I looked at her when she was laying on the floor and I saw this sight:

She was laying on her wound site! Yay! And only eight days after surgery! She’s laying on the futon mattress we were still sleeping on in the living room, but it would be our last night on the floor. That day was also the first time she wanted to play – she was getting her “Sophie” back. It was a good day. By this time I was living in the moment and no longer letting myself be sad. I was doing what I could to improve her diet (we’re moving to grain free, but still eating dry food with wet food “topping”) and researching supplements. The hospital called to confirm the diagnosis of osteosarcoma – no surprise there.

The above picture is nine days post surgery, and right before we went for our check up with the vet. The vet and all the techs were very impressed with her progress and saw no issues. The only thing we’re really struggling with is trying to get Sophie to eat the Wholly Immune the vet swears by – has anyone had any luck?

In the last few days we have begun doing twice-daily walks and I have even thrown the ball for her a (very) few times. One time she tried to turn too fast and did a little flip/roll over her back but it didn’t seem to faze her. I am continually amazed by what she can do. I’m a little nervous about leaving her in the care of a dog sitter for a week for Thanksgiving, but I’m sure she’ll be fine. Two thumbs up! Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Sophie’s amputation was performed at Tufts Veterinary Hospital. All in all they were good, but I the experience left me feeling a little unsatisfied. They were very professional and I knew my case was being handled by interns, residents, and surgeons, but by and large I only interacted with the interns. I’m sure they’re perfectly qualified, but it would have been nice to talk to the surgeon. They also didn’t provide me with a whole lot of information; I found what I needed on sites like this one and bonecancerdogs.org. It’s as if they’ve lost sight of the fact that what is routine for them is traumatic and disorienting for the owners. Anyway.

Before I picked up Sophie after her surgery I did as much as I could to educate myself (always my first instinct) and prepare my apartment for a tripawd. I picked up cheap carpet remnants and non-slide pads to go beneath them at Home Depot and cut them into runners to cover my hardwood floors. I bought the Dog Cancer Survival Guide and had it expedited to my house. I read all of the post-surgical recommendations I could find. Of course I also had to deal with my emotions.

You see, my military experience and life with my parents’ dogs taught me that life is finite and a dog’s life is even more so. I had been mentally prepping myself for a few years for the day that Sophie would no longer be in my life. The trouble was that I had calculated that day to be around her 12th birthday, not when she wasn’t even 9 yet. I was prepared for a slow decline, not a sudden slap in the face. I was having a lot of trouble dealing with it. The prognosis of 10-12 months with amputation and chemo on the websites wasn’t helping matters; I made the decision to amputate with possible follow-on chemo with the thought in the back of my head that she’d beat the cancer, not that I’d merely be delaying for just a short time.

I’m normally a very upbeat person, but this was just weighing me down. It’s very selfish of me, but Sophie is my friend. I live 1500 miles from my family and most of my friends are either scattered across the country or busy with their own lives. She is my constant support system; I spend the vast majority of my time with her. I am having a lot of trouble picturing my life without her. I’m just not ready. I finally decided that 1) I had to stop reading the websites for awhile, and 2) I choose to believe that Sophie will beat this and I’ll have her around for another three years. Otherwise, why was I putting us through this, and how would I get through the days?

So I left work early on Friday and picked up Sophie at Tufts. I forgot all the questions I was supposed to asked, namely when her last doses of pain medication were administered. I did remember, however, to treat her as if nothing was wrong, as I always did. We went home and she hopped right up the three small steps into our apartment! That was a good sign. Sophie went and laid down and I pretty much just watched her. That night I picked her up and put her in my bed where she always sleeps; it was a mistake. I’m not sure if the bed was too soft or if her pain meds weren’t working, but neither of us got much sleep and she was pretty pitiful the next morning. I was having the same doubts about the rightness of surgery that everyone mentions having.

But after her next dose of meds kicked in she seemed to be doing much better. She took food and water and went out to pee several times, even pooping later that evening! She continued to do well today (day 3 at home) since we upped the frequency of the meds. The neighbors have all seen her and she’s been pretty active when around them, but tuckered herself out pretty good. I noticed that she gets cold pretty easily without 1/4 of her coat. Her amputation site seems to be infection/fluid free and the bruising and swelling is going down. It’s also pretty sad to see her want to lie down on her amputation side but then not being able to because of the pain. Keeping her from doing too much is going to be a problem in the coming weeks I think.

As for me, I’m trying to keep positive and enjoy her as much as I can. I’ve moved the mattress to my futon into my living room (the only place I have space for it on the floor) and that’s where we’re sleeping for the time being. It’s a harder mattress and seems to work better. I try not to think of how she’ll be limited from now and and remind myself that I have no real way of know what her limits will be. She may be a wonderdog and be able to do almost all of the stuff we used to do, or not; time will tell. I just need to take it one day at a time and stop all the doubts/questions/thoughts running through my head. Which reminds me – I really need to get back into yoga.

So let me start by introducing my pup a little bit, and the health journey that culminated in a diagnosis of that-six-letter-word-that-should-really-be-four: cancer.

Sophie is a very happy, very active almost 9 year old mutt. She’s some sort of lab mix; people have guessed pit bull, whippet, or Plott hound. All I know is that she’s about the size of a German shorthair – 55 pounds of energetic love. She’s always loved people and prefers them over other dogs; she’s also very protective of me. I got her when she was just 8 weeks old and we have pretty much lived alone together ever since, with a few years of separation mandated by my military service. She’s eager to please, one of the fastest dogs I’ve ever seen, and loves to chase her ball, swim, and jump. We frequently go on hikes in the parks around Massachusetts, Maine, and New Hampshire and Sophie serves as the unofficial mascot on my co-ed softball team. In the past few years she’s begun to go gray, but I expect(ed) her to be around for about 12 years. I was/am not prepared for anything less than that, at least not until she slows down.

In the middle of August this year I noticed that Sophie was exhibiting back pain, to the point where she couldn’t/wouldn’t really move. I took her to the vet, x-rays were done of her back, and she was diagnosed with bony growths on her vertebrae. After consulting a doggy orthopedist, Sophie started doggy acupuncture and some pain meds to manage it. The doggy acupuncturist is also a vet, and he recommended Ventri-disc supplements as well. Sophie quickly got better over the next month or so. She was limited to short walks for exercise but obviously wanted to do more.

However, after the back pain subsided (love the acupuncture) she started showing some left hind leg sensitivity. The vet first thought is was an ACL sprain in her knee and continued the acupuncture. She didn’t seem to be getting better in the first month of this new pain, but nor did she seem to be getting worse. We were just at the point when the vet expected her to turn the corner and she stopped putting any weight on the leg altogether. That’s when I noticed the lump on her hock.

I noticed the lump on a Friday night, and it felt hard to the touch. It didn’t seem like an emergency, though, and I had National Guard duty that weekend. I called the vet Monday morning and got her in on Tuesday 11/8. He was concerned and suggested an x-ray. He came back in the room and gave me the news: likely osteosarcoma. On the x-ray her tibia looked like it had gone all fuzzy near the ankle joint. Sophie couldn’t figure out why I was suddenly crying. The vet said that the recommended course of treatment was amputation with chemo follow-up and gave me a referral to Tufts, one of the top vet schools/teaching hospitals in the country. I took her straight there.

After several hours and rounds of test to be sure, the docs at Tufts agreed with my vets prognosis and recommended amputation the next day. So that’s what we did. Sophie became a tripawd on Wednesday, November 9, 2011.

This blog will be about the journey Sophie and I are now taking in our re-defined life together.